...And So it Begins
Updated: Jun 2
Yeah. I worry. About everything. EVERYTHING. Yep. I worry about paying the bills on time. I worry about my kids. About my wife. I worry and wonder what terrible fate might befall me because I, in my infinite wisdom, bought the "Very Vanilla" yogurt when perhaps all along I was meant to purchase the "Berry Berry Blueberry". And what is the expiration date on this stuff, anyway? I just KNOW I'm gonna get salmonella. I worry that...Well, you get the point. I worry.
Funny thing, though. Do you know what worries me the most? And I do mean the MOST?
It's change. Or rather, the lack of it.
Nothing in this life scares me more than staying the same. I suppose that's because the majority of my adult life was spent getting half bludgeoned to death by sheer repetition. And I seriously doubt that I'm alone. Let's find out.
Ah, there you are.
It's comforting to know that I'm in good company.
While I am certain that the specifics vary for each of us, the end result most likely strikes a familiar, dull ache. And I mean that in a very "If life were impersonating a migraine" sort of way.
Wake up, go to work, pretend to care as much as the next person (while they're pretending to care as much as you), punch the clock, hurry out the door and into the parking lot, hop into your car and drive, albeit a little too fast, and pull up to the school, just in time to pick up the youngest.
Aaaaannnndddd... breathe. But not for too long. Gotta go!
Once again, drive too fast, this time to the grocery store. Run in and get the bare essentials, hustle back out to the car, and head for home, at a better than moderate pace, of course.
Make dinner, throw down some food, get back into the car and drive (yeah, you're speeding), drop the young one off at the home of this evening's "baby sitter" of choice, and make your way to the high school (I'm not even going to say it), where you can be herded in like cattle to watch the oldest child participate in their selected sport.
Finally, when the festivities are over, you walk out to yet another parking lot, climb back into your waiting vehicle, drive at a reasonable rate of speed so you may, once again, pick up the youngest, take him/her home, go through your mundane night-time ritual, zombie crawl yourself into bed, and get what little sleep you can.
Sound at all familiar?
Then good for you! And I truly mean that.
But for a good portion of us, I'd be willing to bet that there's more than a kernel of truth in that walk down memory lane.
Do I regret any of it? ABSOLUTELY NOT! There is no greater responsibility or joy than watching your children grow into fine adults, and hoping that you've had at least a little something to do with who they have become.
But what is also true, is that I lost myself along the way. I worked a rotating shift, went through a bitter divorce (nothing bad to say, we're both happier now), and found myself stretched far too thin, with a plate that was, consistently, way too full.
That doesn't make me special. It makes me human, and we all have a personal cross or two to bear.
But that was then, and this is now.
Today, I am happily remarried to a lovely woman.
Our children are grown and out of the house.
It's time for me to be brave, risk a little ridicule, accept and be grateful for the kind words of support, and focus on what I know to be true, and consider a whole lot less the opinions of those who have no skin in the game.
That's why I've started "Hanson Creative Services", which caters to live events of all kinds, and specializes in three general areas: Public Speaking, Speech Writing, and Music Editing.
This is not a midlife crisis. I've already passed that milestone, thank you. And it is not the equivalent of waking up one day and proclaiming, "I'm going to be a runway model!".
If you claim not to know why that last statement is funny, you are either a very convincing liar, or in desperate need of an eye exam.
Either way, there is a point to all of this, which is...
These things are not new to me. I have been doing them for a very long time. The difference now, is that I wish to do them on a much grander scale.
The truth is that I have been working a full time job in the manufacturing industry for over 20 years, and while I will be eternally grateful for the things that it has afforded me, it has never been what one would consider to be a great fit.
So, I'm conducting a little social experiment.
I want to see if I can, at the tender age of 50, reinvent my life.
Not become someone new, but to simply be more open about who I've always been.
As I said before. I'm not alone in this.
Most of us want to try different things, but ultimately, we let fear have the final say.
Well, I have decided that this time, the last word will be mine.
I'm laying it all out there for the whole world to see, and I'm not even worried about it...
which is a little worrisome. Don't ya think?